|Marcus Aurelius, wrote Meditations|
Epictetus, the founder of Stoicism, said to “keep death and exile daily before thine eyes” and “it is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death.” Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Philosopher Stoic, picking up where he left off, said “think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills.”
Superior athletes practice visualization. They visualize the future in order to perform better when the moment comes. Guess what: that applies to life too.
Occasionally I find myself walking down the street in a somber, contemplative frame of mind. I think about the death of a loved one. What would I say at their funeral? What words would express how they lived and the love they gave to me? I’m filled with a bittersweet joy. Lately I’ve thought about my grandfather, father, and mother dying. I imagine myself at the funeral. I picture all the people there. I consider the emotions. It’s funny how to consider death is to consider and appreciate life. I am left with a peaceful feeling. I could die at anytime, and that’s okay. My grandfather could die at anytime, and that’s okay. I love him just as much now as I will then, and that’s it. What else can be said? To think about death as some horrible, impending doom is simply irrational.
I have always dealt well with tragedy. It’s not because I have no emotions (I really do). Stoicism embraces controlled emotions. My personality, biology, and probably the size of my amygdala all play a part at how I react to tragedy. But my philosophy and mind set play a large part too. When it comes to tragedy, I have already been there. I have been to the mountaintop. I am ready for it. I am not worried about it. This is the Stoic lifestyle. The Stoics were the perfect blend of self-reliance and faith, of philosophy and religion. They did everything they could to be the best person they could be – and left the rest to God, or the Gods, or Nature. Worry about the things that are in your control, and accept everything else with a graceful disposition.
Your mother will die someday. You will die someday. The only thing to fear is not living. And I think that’s why we are scared of death.